OP, dangle in there, please. I am 34 years previous now. I can not let you know how shitty my life was once I was 17. I had bulimia, I self-harmed, I used to be depressed, anxious, and messing about with my meds. I Left dwelling after which went 3.5 months with out making eye contact with anybody as a result of I used to be terrified folks might see how offended and damaged I used to be, what an ugly-on-the-inside particular person I used to be.
I spent many bleak nights alone when folks tried to succeed in out and I mentioned no, assuming their invites had been out of obligation, and that their curiosity in me was motivated by one thing that I did not perceive and was very petrified of.
I am unsure once I turned a nook. It took a couple of years to get to the nook, and about Three months to truly flip it. Someday, I discovered that I had gone four days with out appearing out on my behavioural addictions and even fascinated about them. It was actually rattling gradual however issues did get higher for me… and they’ll for you, too!
So (apologies for hijacking your thread with my story however) please dont quit. Grasp in there. Your hair doesn’t remind me of strawberry blond anybody. You appear like you – and thats simply excellent for who you’re proper now. Your eyes, opposite to ‘useless inside’, appear like they’ve a lot hearth and keenness inside them, craving to return out. I imply take a look at you…. I guess you may have SO a lot to say.
And its all worthy. Its all related. Its what’s going on for you proper now and you’ve got a proper to take up that area and time. Even when no one else in any respect treats you want you may have a proper to be right here, please discover a method every day to deal with your self just like the deserving, brave particular person you’re.
Good luck with every little thing you’re battling in life, regardless of how small. Take it a day at a time. And keep in mind you’re on a journey and your surroundings proper now’s short-term. Xx