I got 4 likes and lost 230 followers when I posted my Disassociation Letter on Instagram, but I’m happy that I did! My Bethel to Disassociation Story. : exjw

r/exjw - I got 4 likes and lost 230 followers when I posted my Disassociation Letter on Instagram, but I’m happy that I did! My Bethel to Disassociation Story.

It is a story primarily based on the true story of my life from Bethel to Disassociation. I write these items with as a lot accuracy as I can however quite a bit has occurred, Inventive Recollection Be Gone!


My title is Preston Simmons, I used to be born in 1991 to JW dad and mom(I used to be a fifth Technology) and was baptized in July of 2009. In August of 2010, I used to be what the Christian Religion calls “baptized in spirit/born once more/anointed by holy spirit”. I want I may depart this out however this can be a main a part of the story afterward. The spirit from the start stored telling me that one thing was unsuitable with my worship, which bothered me quite a bit however I couldn’t work out what was unsuitable. In July 2014 I used to be accepted to Bethel and my sluggish exodus from the group started.

Years Washing Soiled Garments

My first division was Patterson Laundry washing soiled laundry. Effectively, that isn’t precisely true, I used to be the dryer man so I assume the subtitle ought to be, “Years Drying Clear Garments”… anyway. This was in the course of the period of Warwick so we had been working Three shifts with a three-week rotation between shifts. We had been working at 600% of PAT Laundy’s capability. The shift rotation doesn’t sound prefer it ought to have been an issue however the three-week rotation prompted these on it to have their sleep patterns destroyed.

This was the primary time I noticed that Bethel put its wants over the wants of its folks, and in truth I understood why they did it. “Sacrifice for the Kingdom” was the mentality, this was our providing to Warwick. However the purpose for the odd shift cycle was “non secular”. Return on days rapidly so that you could “sustain your spirituality ” by going to Morning Worship and dwelling a traditional Bethel Life. However as time went on, the odd schedule change had a larger and larger impact on the crew. Each shift change acquired tougher. It acquired to the purpose the place among the boys had been so thrown off by the shifts that they had been falling asleep at their machines whereas STANDING UP. However our overseer beloved us. He’s a genuinely good man and so he often got here to examine on us at 2:00-4:00 AM to wake us up as a result of he knew we had been barely awake… bodily, and on prime of that he inspired us. This love from him was sufficient to cowl over the shortage of affection from the Bethel system as a complete.

After a number of months of working solely within the Laundry Division, I used to be break up into two departments, Laundry major with Infirmary as a secondary. Now for the file, I had no medical background, however after 2 weeks of coaching, I used to be a Patterson Bethel Licensed PCA (Affected person Care Assistant)! {Do not forget that I used to be only a Patterson Licensed assistant that’s essential later} Whereas I used to be within the Infirmary I acquired to see many fascinating issues. For instance, I used to be with an older brother with psychological well being issues who labored within the Service Division and whereas I used to be with him he went to his workplace and began trying to find “Jehovah’s Witnesses” on Google. However he didn’t go to [JW.ORG](https://JW.ORG), he searched by means of different web sites and browse what they mentioned in regards to the Group. I assumed he had simply misplaced his thoughts on the time, he was doing the precise factor that we had been instructed to not do, however I simply chalked it as much as his well being issues. Perhaps it was, I don’t know however I discovered it fascinating.

Finest Bethel Division Ever… Patterson Furnishings(R.I.P.)

In February of 2016 after being in Laundry for nearly 2 years my Major Division was modified from Patterson Laundry to Patterson Furnishings. Now Patterson Furnishings Was Legit! It was the very best factor that occurred to me at Bethel. I went from drying clear garments to doing the MANLY!!! exercise of selecting issues up and placing them down! I beloved each second of Patterson Furnishings. Nonetheless, that is the place I began to get up. It really all began with a spoon, The way you ask?

Our workplace was proper outdoors the north exit of the Eating Room. The south exit led to an out of doors consuming space farther away from the Eating Room than our workplace was. Nonetheless, one of many furnishings crew was endorsed by a Meals Service overseer to not take cutlery out of the eating room that approach although we may take trays that belonged to the eating room out that approach. This was silly to me and it could have stayed simply silly to me till the Meals Service overseer despatched an e-mail out to each particular person in Patterson Bethel saying to not take cutlery out of the eating room besides by the South exit for the skin eating space. This made me livid. I bear in mind feeling like this was a private assault on my crew primarily as a result of now all of Patterson was the cutlery police in my eyes. I used to be most likely simply overreacting in hindsight, however this confirmed me that each one issues of protocol didn’t come down from Jehovah, by means of Jesus, by means of the Governing Physique, by means of Oversight, to me… It confirmed me that males may name the photographs within the group and create change and that possibly they may bypass God.

The subsequent stage of badness got here when the September 2016 Watchtower got here out titled “Does Your Model of Costume Glorify God?”(1). Now a little bit of background on my face, I’ve the blended child drawback. You already know the one the place the hair grows underneath your pores and skin and also you get Four new ingrown hairs each time you shave inflicting pus and blood to be a daily function of issues popping out of the pores of your ingrown hairs. When this primary occurred I used to be advised by my dad and mom to develop my beard out however I mentioned ‘No approach Jose’ I wished privileges within the congregation and everybody is aware of folks with beards are loopy and non-exemplary. Thus on the expense of my pores and skin, as painful because it was, I shaved. So after we lastly acquired an article saying, “Hey, it’s okay to develop it out. So long as the tradition is cool with it, we’re cool with it.” I used to be ecstatic! I began telling everybody about my beard plans. Then my oversight heard about my plans and proceeded to counsel me and inform me that the principles had not modified, no beards particularly in Bethel. Now a second of honesty, I used to be a ‘Cult Child’, a ‘Firm Man’, a ‘Poster Youngster for M.O.T.H.E.R.’($10 to the very best that means for that acronym) When the Watchtower mentioned it, it was “LAW” no questions requested. So when my oversight advised me that ‘that wasn’t the case’ my world started to collapse. I went political actual fast. I began speaking to any elder I may discover that might focus on it. All of them mentioned the identical factor, “No you may’t!” I used to be devastated. And a time bomb inside me began ticking.

BTW there isn’t any extra Patterson Furnishings. They rearranged to 1 central location so the division that I beloved isn’t any extra.

The Fishkill Fiasco, Infirmary Years

Now as the necessity for furnishings personnel was dropping. Brooklyn was moved out… kinda, Mt. Ebo had been arrange, torn down, and arrange once more, Service Division had transferred from Patterson to Wallkill, and Audio-Video Companies was starting to stage out it’s huge development of personnel, Tuxedo had… I imply you get it, we had been finished or near being finished with furnishings stuff. However a brand new monster of a division had simply hatched.

With Brooklyn Infirmary shutting down there was a necessity to maneuver a ton of old-timers from Brooklyn to Wallkill and the brand new advanced dubbed Fishkill, beforehand generally known as the Rivercrest Residences. This was the subsequent cease on my exodus. At this level, it was December 2016. I had been a part-time PCA for about 2 years however I had been solely uncovered to a handful of sufferers. This made my expertise very restricted though I used to be thought of one of many lesser veterans on the ground. There was a second the place I nearly obtained extra coaching. For the reason that file said that I used to be an import into the Medical Division from the Furnishings Division I used to be slated for the brand new Medical Unified Coaching Program. I made all of it the way in which to the primary day of sophistication however in school, I used to be discovered to be somebody who already knew the vast majority of the coaching due to my Patterson PCA Class. There is just one drawback, The Patterson Class taught you to cope with the issues of Patterson sufferers. Now I used to be coping with Wallkill and Brooklyn sufferers as nicely however we did not have sufficient employees to permit me to get the finished coaching that I wanted.

This prompted quite a few issues. The one that stands proud essentially the most in my thoughts is the problem of urinary catheter care. After I obtained my coaching in Patterson we had no full-time urinary catheter sufferers so no coaching was offered to PCAs. This was not the case with different amenities. So once I was assigned to 1 I discovered myself not giving enough care out of ignorance of correct approach.

One other drawback the division confronted was an absence of funds. I do know, stunning. I don’t know if this was really an issue however from a PCAs perspective, this was the case. For instance(2), one time there was a affected person who was ‘of the traditional of days’, and on account of their lengthy occupation of the planet that they had again issues. The right process could be to place them in a particular chair referred to as a geriatric chair or a medical recliner of some type to alleviate the ache. On this one occasion, the affected person was not in a correct chair however was in a traditional wheelchair with a pillow behind their butt with a purpose to simulate a recliner. This didn’t work nicely. The affected person started slipping out of the chair and when the PCAs tried to regulate the affected person they inadvertently prompted the affected person to fall onto the ground. The affected person died a number of days later from, what I assume in my non-medical skilled opinion was issues because of the fall. Instantly after the autumn I went to the ground coordinator to inquire, with as many nearly curse phrases as I may discover, as to the rationale the affected person didn’t have a medical recliner. His reply, “Finances cuts…” This vexed me significantly! An individual who had given their complete grownup life to serving within the “Order”(3) ultimately wasn’t even given the dignity of a $1000 piece of apparatus to make their previous couple of days on earth comfy. This was unacceptable in my eyes. I used to be advised consistently by random Bethelites, who didn’t work within the medical division however who favored to chime in, that my job was to assist these expensive older ones die as comfortably as attainable. After what occurred with this affected person, I started to query if I may do this if the division and my overseers weren’t prepared to assist me.

One other main drawback was staffing. It’s an fascinating proven fact that at this level within the story we’re trying on the 2017-2018 calendar years however the 25% employees discount that the Governing Physique had made necessary for all Bethel complexes and departments worldwide had not been imposed on Medical. The reason is is that they couldn’t discover sufficient brothers contained in the Order or inside an hour radius of all Bethel complexes to fill the necessity for brothers. Of all of the Bethelites who had been requested in the event that they had been prepared to switch to the medical division(4), I imagine lower than fifty of us mentioned “Sure.” Within the furnishings division for instance three of us had been requested, I used to be the one one who mentioned “Sure” primarily as a result of I used to be already pressured into the medical division inside my first six months at Bethel.

The dearth of personnel prompted all kinds of points, primarily when it got here to scheduling. Now I need to admit the extent of care obtained by sufferers whereas I used to be in Fishkill blew away the care I noticed from some other nursing house. But it surely ought to! The Order has an nearly countless provide of free labor. So although they couldn’t discover the assistance they wanted instantly round Bethel, all they needed to do was put out the decision and other people would have paid to work at Fishkill Medical. However I knew that that wasn’t attainable as a result of we kinda needed to hold that place a secret, however extra on that later.

The dearth of the right quantity of brothers made workload and scheduling troublesome. The one purpose for it’s because brothers labored with male sufferers and sisters labored with feminine sufferers. This brothers work with brothers and sisters work with sisters little bit of protocol is definitely fairly thoughtful contemplating the quantity of sexual management demanded by single male members of the Order. It’s equal to Olympic stage athletics. Now for some purpose, there was no scarcity of sisters. When it got here to the roster, females outnumbered males roughly 7 to 1. “Seems like heaven!” chances are you’ll say. Nope, It wasn’t. Primarily as a result of if I assumed Laundry didn’t care about my sleep cycle, Medical should have been testing us like lab rats to see the boundaries of the human physique for sleep cycle disturbances. Goodbye circadian rhythm, goodbye regular male hormones and sensibility.

As if loopy shifts didn’t make the job laborious sufficient, scheduling was consistently making an attempt to see how little it may employees the ground to save lots of on personnel. This prompted massive intervals of time the place one man was doing the job of what ought to have been two males. For instance one Saturday night, we had been staffed with two males on the flooring the place we had pretty impartial sufferers and two males on the dementia flooring. 4 males in the entire constructing plus sisters. Usually there would have been ten or extra males assigned as PCAs within the constructing but it surely was the weekend, needed to function on lowered employees. Received to exit in discipline service! Now on this scenario, I used to be referred to as right into a room to discover a affected person had fallen. Not good! The affected person wasn’t a fall threat, his well being was now in jeopardy. One other bell went off, however I couldn’t attend to it because of the fall and all different PCAs had been busy. Nurses had been making an attempt to deal with the autumn so nobody may get the second bell. By the point I acquired to the second bell, I walked in to seek out this affected person on the ground as nicely. He laughed at me and mentioned, “In regards to the time you confirmed up.” He had slipped out of his chair and slid to the ground. Not technically a fall however nonetheless, two sufferers on the bottom in a row. I wanted assist however one thing was occurring upstairs so no assist was coming. Whereas I used to be serving to and testing the second affected person a 3rd bell went off. I couldn’t get to it instantly because of the nature of the assistance I used to be giving fallen affected person quantity two. After I lastly acquired to the third bell I walked in to seek out the married couple that lived within the room each on the bottom… how acceptable. When it rains it pours. After this collection of unlucky occasions, the weekend employees was in a position to persuade oversight that we had been understaffed and we acquired the personnel we would have liked, lastly.

Out of the entire issues mentioned in regards to the Infirmary, nothing confuses me greater than the secrecy about what occurred contained in the medical buildings. Second of honesty, the neighbors didn’t like us transferring in. We added a whole lot of visitors and let’s be actual, we sped in all places. This prompted the neighbors to complain about us to the native Bethel Workplace. Bethel’s response? We had been advised, “Cease dashing and don’t put on scrubs outdoors!” Okay, I used to be within the unsuitable about dashing, however what the heck do my scrubs need to do with something? In response to what we had been advised, for the reason that neighbors don’t like us in the event that they see you carrying scrubs they might report us, and an inspector would possibly come by and trigger us bother. That made no sense to me. We had our issues however we had been among the best nursing properties round. I imply it didn’t odor like pee wherever, that’s spectacular. However what I got here to seek out out is that supposedly Dutchess County NY will solely permit 13 nursing properties to function at a time, we had been the 14th. So in a approach, we weren’t imagined to exist. Now I don’t know if that is true. This was what we accepted because the scenario. Actually, this case was taken so significantly that we nearly weren’t allowed to put on scrubs in any respect.

Finally, I couldn’t take the psychological and emotional load that Fishkill Medical required. On prime of that, I had been waking as much as the fact of the Cristian Congregation of Jehovah’s Witnesses for the reason that summer season of 2017. So in December of 2018, I left Bethel. However the enjoyable was simply getting began.

Dodging Disfellowshipping

The Summer season of 2017 was the second the Spirit woke me up. I used to be on the Regional Conference on Sunday. It was the final discuss. The speaker was speaking about Daniel Chapter 11, one in every of my favourite chapters in the entire Hebrew Scriptures. “Lastly one thing apart from that watered-down milk they usually serve up.” I assumed to myself. I paid wrapped consideration because the speaker broke down Chapter 11 after which moved on to chapter 12. I had by no means learn Chapter 12. “What’s all this 1290 days and 1335 days about?” as I had that thought the Spirit entered my consciousness and indicated that I wanted to review these scriptures. I listened and instantly began finding out once I acquired house. I spent the subsequent 12 months and a half finding out this set of scriptures they usually gave me an issue. Chapter 12 appears to be discussing chapter 11 in additional element however once I learn what the publications mentioned on the matter, they indicated that Dan. 11:31 is discussing WWII whereas Dan. 12:11 was discussing the occasions of 1914-1918. This made zero sense as a result of Dan. 12:11 was most undoubtedly describing Dan. 11:31 in additional element. After I accepted that what was in print was not right I began to play with the understanding like a rubric dice. After enjoying with a number of prospects I discovered that essentially the most logical conclusion was to take away the bit about 1914. This made sense and appeared acceptable contemplating the truth that the Watchtower taught at one cut-off date that the good tribulation began in 1914. Dan. 12:11 then lined up with The Revelation to John particularly chapter 11:2,Three the place John discusses 1260 days and 42 months in addition to Rev. chapter 12. These had been all issues that lined up time-wise with the good tribulation that Jesus described would occur to Jerusalem. Just one drawback 1914 was the muse of all of my beliefs. Take away 1914 and this is what else you must take away:

Jesus being topped king in 1914 (Matt. 28:18)

Devil being solid out of heaven in 1914 (Rev. 12:7-9)

The Governing Physique being given the position of “Devoted Slave” in 1918 (There may be probably not a scripture for this)

And that the gentile occasions had not ended but (Luke 21:24)

Now bear in mind at this level the one factor I had learn was the Bible. I didn’t know if anybody else knew this. So I started speaking with these round me about it. They, like good Witnesses ought to, mentioned I ought to wait on Jehovah or I wanted to maintain finding out and it could all come again collectively. I’m impatient so I targeted on what Jesus mentioned on the Mount of Olives, I figured that would put my confused religion again collectively. So with my newly opened thoughts, I proceeded. Then I bumped into Luke 21:eight and my confused religion fell aside.

Luke 21:eight within the NWT States “[Jesus] mentioned: “Look out that you’re not misled, for a lot of will come on the idea of my title, saying, ‘I’m he,’ and, ‘The due time is close to.’ Don’t go after them.”

This verse shocked me. Primarily as a result of Jehovah’s Witnesses say “We’re the one true Individuals of God. We come to you in Jesus’ title and authority doing his work. And we live on the finish of the system of issues.” Luke 21:eight was speaking about us, Jehovah’s Witnesses. Jesus advised folks to not observe us. This might have usually been met with finding out what the Watchtower needed to say which might have justified my affiliation. However I had simply discovered 1914 to be a faux prophecy. Any rationalization would haven’t any foundation.

It was at that time that every little thing began to make sense. Because of this the Spirit wished me to review this. Because of this the Spirit has been telling me my worship had an issue. Because of this the Spirit hardly interacted with me throughout my first three years in Bethel. I’ve been preventing for the Antichrist.

It’s round this level that I left Bethel. Sadly, my Witness coaching kicked in and I requested for a shepherding name earlier than I left NY. After I did, the Spirit would possibly as nicely have actually spoken the phrases, ‘WHAT ARE YOU DOING?! DON’T DO THAT!’ however I ignored the warnings. I went to the shepherding name to get assist with my shattered religion. I additionally used this assembly as my annual NoFap restart assembly which I usually needed to have yearly to appease my conscience for my sin of uncleanness that I fell into about as soon as yearly or two. This was a tense time frame so… On the assembly, I laid out every little thing. The counsel I used to be given was, “Simply ignore your doubts, they’ll go away. Additionally, you’ll have been molested as a child and that’s the rationale you ‘self-abuse’ and why you don’t belief the Governing Physique.” For sure, I left that assembly extra confused than helped. After a number of extra what I’ll name hurtful conversations I booked it again to my house state as rapidly as attainable.

After being house for a number of months understanding badness was coming, two elders from my elder physique in NY referred to as to let me know that I wasn’t going to be reappointed as a servant on account of an absence of soundness of thoughts, aka as a result of I used to be loopy. I imply that is kinda truthful, I’m involved with the Holy Spirit so I get it. I imply it took me a second to persuade myself I wasn’t loopy, anyway. Every week or so later, two elders from the congregation I used to be in referred to as me and knowledgeable me I used to be invited to an investigative committee. “I’m about to be disfellowshipped for having questions… typical.” On the assembly, I defined my confusion with the e book of Daniel leaving out some scorching button subjects, aka 1914. And was directed to one thing Russel is quoted as saying in regards to the gentile occasions. I thanked the brothers for his or her diligence on this matter and thought to myself “Not disfellowshipping this one!”

To Fade or To not Fade?

At this level, I knew I couldn’t keep within the group. How I used to be going to depart I didn’t know however I knew the lads in NY weren’t going to let me dwell peacefully. After their first set of accusations did not get me disfellowshipped they launched a second wave. Which began a brand new investigative committee. I had additionally began to review the issues different individuals who had left the group had been placing on the web and located that I wasn’t alone, different folks knew what I knew. That was a reduction. I wasn’t loopy, nicely I could also be loopy, however at the very least not with regards to JW theology.

It could take one other 12 months and a half however ultimately, I turned in my Letter of Disassociation. After I was a child I heard a narrative of a younger anointed brother being disfellowshipped for some purpose. After the committee advised him he was disfellowshipped, legend has it that he stood up and mentioned ”You may’t disfellowship me! I disfellowship you, I disfellowship you, and I disfellowship you!” pointing to every member of his committee as he spoke, and walked out. That legend caught with me. So after the investigative/judicial committee met with me to debate my Disassociation Letter I posted my letter on Instagram the day earlier than they introduced it. “You may’t disfellowship me. I disassociate from you!” That put up solely acquired Four likes. I misplaced 230 followers that I had real connections with, actual buddies, the price of fact. However that’s okay. It was throughout now however fact be advised, I had enjoyable whereas I used to be in it the Order all the way down to the top. And now that I’ve made an official break, I’ve acquired to inform you this story. I hope you loved it!

Yours actually,

Preston Simmons

P.S. For photos of this story go to my Instagram web page https://www.instagram.com/prest0n.simm0ns/

r/exjw - I got 4 likes and lost 230 followers when I posted my Disassociation Letter on Instagram, but I’m happy that I did! My Bethel to Disassociation Story.

References and Notes

(1)(https://www.jw.org/finder?wtlocale=E&docid=2016684&srctype=wol&srcid=share&paragraph=27) (Warning: This Web page Comprises Brainwashing Cult Propaganda/Viewer discretion is suggested)

(2) I’m maintaining all infirmary tales gender-neutral out of respect for the affected person’s privateness and HIPAA laws

(3) The time period “The Order” refers to “The Non secular Order of Jehovah’s Witnesses” (ROJW) which is totally different from the “Christian Congregation of Jehovah’s Witnesses.”(CCJW) Anybody who’s baptized as one in every of Jehovah’s Witnesses is taken into account a member of CCJW till Demise, Disfellowshipping, or Disassociation. Members of ROJW embrace Bethelites, Circuit Overseers, Missionaries, Particular Pioneers, Full-Time LDC Members, and Grounds Keepers aka Meeting Corridor Overseers or related.

(4) The Medical Division and the Slaughterhouse are the one two departments that I do know of the place somebody is requested in the event that they’re prepared to switch. In all different departments, a switch is a command, not a request.

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